Betrayed
by SassyAngel05
Summary: Adam's POV after the Devil Made Me Do It.


Author: Vona

Title:Betrayed

Rating: PG

Pairing: J/A undertones

Episode: Tag after The Devil Made Me Do It

Summary: Adam tries to process what happened.  Adam's POV

**_Betrayed_**

I was completely and truly stunned.  I didn't have a better way to describe it.  I'd heard the clattering from the art room and saw a big crowd in the doorway.  I had this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I peeked in the side door.  'Ascension' was falling to pieces.  It wasn't thing made out of stuff anymore.  It was just stuff.  Watching it fall to the ground was like seeing my mother destroyed.  My memories of my mom were always poured into my work.  It was like someone had ripped a piece of her away from me.  But even worse than seeing it destroyed was seeing Jane with the chair that was wrecking it.  Jane!  Sweet Jane, whom I really thought understood me, understood my art and reason for doing it.  Why would she do this?  How could she do this?  This was my freedom.  She'd just locked me back into the jail of high school and she'd destroyed my work even after she'd learned what it meant to me.  She looked back at me and I saw heartbreak in her eyes.  But was it her heartbreak or mine?  I couldn't tell.  I couldn't look at her right now.  I couldn't be near her.  I hurried away, fighting the urge to cry.  I thought Jane was my friend.  I've never felt so betrayed or so alone.  I bumped into Mrs. Gerardi, who was running down the hallway.  I couldn't deal with her or anyone for that matter at the moment.  I saw the principal pulling Jane towards me.

"Mr. Rove, meet me in my office.  Mrs. Gerardi, I suggest you call your husband."

            I sat on the bench behind Jane and her family.  All that I could see in my mind was the metal clattering to the ground and Jane's eyes.  Over and over again, it was like a horrific movie I couldn't stop playing.  Jane was completely quiet and all I could hear was her crying.  She deserved to cry.  At least partially.  I refused to feel sorry for her.  All of my hope had gone down with 'Ascension'.  Talk about irony.  'Ascension' had crashed down.   A part of me slipped away with Jane's betrayal.  I'd finally had a friend, or what I thought was a friend.  I will never trust anyone so blindly as I had her.  Jane had been different.  She didn't fit in with everyone else.  She was so unique.  Like I was.  Maybe I just over identified with the new girl.  I had been asked to press charges against her, but I couldn't do that.  I didn't have the heart to.  I didn't have the heart to do much of anything.  All I wanted was to end this day.  I would love to relive it and change everything, but I'm an artist not a scientist.  I got up, not able to listen to any of the conversation anymore and bolted out the door.  I could hear the patter of Jane's feet behind me.  I didn't feel like confronting her.  I was afraid that if I did, I would cry.  She stopped me before I could get away and tried to explain.  I didn't want to hear any explaination.  There wasn't one good enough.  Not even God telling her to destroy it would be acceptable.  So I told her what I'd been thinking, at least a fraction of it, hoping to convey my hurt to her.  I don't know if it worked.  I couldn't look at her anymore.  I could feel the tears threatening to spill over, so I jerked away from her and walked.  I walked up the stairs and out the front door before she could catch up with me.

            I found myself in the cemetery after I fled from the high school.  I easily navigated myself around several headstones and found my mom's.  It seemed so desolate out there with no one around at all.  My small sculpture remained tilted against the gravestone, but today it just served as a reminder of everything previous.  I knelt down in front of the grave and stared.  I had the tendency to fade into a trance when I came to visit Mom.

"You remember when I told you about Jane a few weeks ago, Mom?  I thought she was really special.  I even told you I had a crush on her.  Well, I was completely wrong about her.  I told you that I entered the art contest.  I knew you would be so proud of me and someone actually bought my piece for $500.  Then, Jane completely wrecked my creation.  On purpose.  I wish she had just fallen on it or something that would be forgivable.  But she did it maliciously.  I don't know what's worse, losing the chance of being free from school or knowing that Jane could do something like this."

I changed positions, pulling my knees to my chest, clutching my arms around my legs.  I let the quiet envelope me and I tried to block out everything.  All I could think about, though, was how much I hated November.  I just had one more thing to add to the list of reasons for despising the month.  It just topped everything else except for Mom dying.  I heard the crunching of leaves behind me and I felt Jane before she said anything.

"Adam…"

"Go away."

"Please…"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't know you were here for sure.  I just guessed."

Jane knelt down next to me, her manner reverent and apologetic.  I didn't know what I was supposed to do.  I refused to let her chase me away from my own mother's grave.  I sighed before asking her, "How could you do this to me?"

She took a deep breath, like she was trying to come up with a good answer.  She failed at it miserably.

"It's hard to explain."

"Jane, I expected at least a good lie from you."

"You wouldn't understand if I told you."

"Try me.  I need to know why you would do this."

"You weren't supposed to quit school.  You're supposed to stay in school and graduate.  I failed.  So I went after your piece.  I needed to keep you in school."

"How is it your decision on whether I stay in school or not?  Cha, Jane, I thought you were cool."

I glanced over at her, which was a mistake.  Her eyes were glittering with unshed tears, guilt evident on every inch of her face.  I could feel my reserve breaking down, no matter how angry I was at her.

"I am so sorry.  I don't know how to make this up to you.  Tell me anything and I'll do it."

I shook my head.  "I don't trust you.  This isn't something you can make up to me.  You destroyed me when you destroyed 'Ascension'."

"I wasn't thinking clearly.  I don't think I was even thinking."

"So you mess everyone's life up when you don't think?"

She paused, once again words failing her.

"Couldn't you have just talked to me?"

"I tried, Adam.  But you wouldn't listen to me."

"So it's my fault?"

"No.  No.  Gosh, I can't even tell you what I was thinking.  I can't explain it right, Adam.  I am so sorry."

"I know.  I just don't think it's enough."

Her face fell completely and a bit of guilt crept into my mind.  She started to stand up, but I grabbed her wrist.

"Jane, give me some time.  Leave me alone.  At least for a while."

She nodded acceptingly.

"Maybe I'll be able to forgive you sometime."

She straightened up and walked away from me.  I reached out to touch the cold stone, my fingers tracing over my mother's name.

"Well, Mom, I hope you're still proud of me.  I think you would like Jane, other than this whole thing.  I hope I did the right thing, telling her I would forgive her.  Eventually.  I really do think I will."

I closed my eyes and leaned back.  I didn't want to go home.  Not yet.


End file.
